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Vanishing Twin Syndrome - Symptoms
For the other six articles: Medical - Who remembers? - True stories - Therapy -One example - Bibiography Presenting symptoms
More importantly from our point of view, there are nearly always psychological issues. The affect on the adult is usually subtle and less focussed than traumas from childhood. They may, of course, come from other causes.
For VTS the most important is that they never understand why these feelings should be constantly in their lives.
The hardest outcome is feeling that nobody knows what drives them. They feel different to others and very alone.
The symptoms are contradictory, and typical of separation anxiety:
Ineffable but profound sense of loss, loneliness, abandonment
Will act out against others neurotically, or against themselves masochistically
Deep unarticulated fear that loss will happen again, a pervasive insecurity
Hard to trust another that diminishes the ability to bond, often in a neurotic way
Sense that others will not support them or they endlessly look to support others
Longing that cannot be fulfilled
Belief that some part of them is missing
Deep shock that holds back maturity so they remain childish
Needing to be physically near others, often sleeping wrapped in the other's arms
Yearning for the perfect partner, often resulting in co-dependency
Sense that some one, or some guardian angel is caring for them
Stretching towards others so they merge easily or are extremely sensitive to the needs of others
Loose or over-strong personal boundaries,
Resentful at having to suffer their own birth alone
Fear of death
Understanding of death that appears innate
Split so always looking outside themselves for their identity
Courageous, for they have to do it alone
Avoiding public display, physical contact or being looked at
Fascination in twins, watching them on TV or dreaming about them
One is usually taught that it is not until the infant is born that mind and feelings respond to the environment – that the 'unformed' mind is still a tabula rasa, an empty slate. We know from our decades in therapy that this is nonsense. The foetus has feelings and its development is affected emotionally by events, and these events may be accessed.
We have concluded that losing a twin is one of the most powerful events in the womb. It takes place so early in the creation of the foetus that any response is set into the later physical and emotional development of the baby. The personal issues and grief from the loss are almost impossible to detect in normal therapy. But once understood healing is possible.
Beliefs
When we access the foetal memories there are always authentic cellular memories expressed as body movements. Emotions will then rise up. They are often extremely powerful. From them words will arise. Here the body movements and the emotional energy fuse to express beliefs. These are often simple.. Typically:
I took all the nourishment and he starved – consequences may be bulimia, anorexia
I was responsible – remorse, acting out war stories, self-punishment
I failed because I could not keep him with me – lets everything go
I feel poisoned, my life is toxic – may become a vegetarian, or hypochondriac
I blame myself – deep distrust, self-loathing
I was not worthy, so I was left down here - unworthiness
I will be on a spiritual path to follow him – fantasy, ungrounded
Why did I live and my companion die – guilt
I wont leave him – wont grow up, retreat under stress
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